you sound just like me would like to hear your story i know that it is long im sure, soos mine my teen also 15 is very defiant no regaurd for anyone or any thing troubled or regaurd for consequences or anything its like he thinks that nothing will really happen although he knows better iam soo at a loss also im soo upset all the time im tires of always looking for him and trying to cover for him well not really cover for him but trying to keep him from getting caught breaking more laws he dont listen to me or follow any of the court orders he yells at me and argues everything i say he does what ever he wants when ever he wants comes and goes and he wants doesnt take seriously any thing i do to punish him he will admit to everything and promise to stop and yet the very next day he breaking all the rules again as if i should expect it or that he will come up with some way to actually justify his breaking the rules as if its okay this time and the next time and the next time ..... etc.. etc, on and on you know the routine ,,, right??????? ? any suggestions hes 6' 1 and half inches tall and im only 5' tall he thinks that matters thats the way he yells at me when he argues with me he skips school lies to everyone and i cant stand it i m depressed and soo exhausted it has me completely drained . noone can seem to talk to him and yet he wont talk to me saying he dont know why its just he just dont know why that s his answer for everything im soo scared for him hes my youngest and last teen. i love him soo much and i know now that my teen is already gone, i thought about a year ago i only have 3 years left with till hes gione but i now see that he already is by his own choice id guess or whatever my teen will never be the same and you cant get back time gone by we cant ever get to do it over anything hes already gone...... thats the hardest part cause i already miss him soo much iwont ever give u up trying to reach him i cant do that i love him but i dont know what to do hes soo defiant.
hi i have a 14yr troubled boy and was caught ditching from school with stolen stuff cops took him to west care i picked him up of course he lied saying he didnt know about the stuff he has not been caught stealing yet i dont know how. he has been into shoe stores and walked out with new shoes on he just lies to me that his friend gave them to him he takes advantage because i dont have transportation rite now but i am afraid to see what his doing out there i love him so much it hurts every time he gets in trouble bcause i dont know what i have done wrong to deserve this
When my teen tells me to just let him leave or that he is going to run away, I tell him in a very calm, quiet, tone of voice..."here, let me help you pack, oh, that's right...everything you have, I bought for you. I guess you'll just have to go with what you are wearing....but. ..as a good, law abiding mother..I'll have to report this to the police." With my troubled teen, I just have to stop the fight, right there, right then, if he thinks I am going to freak out and get sick from the stress, he pushes even harder. I just walk away from him after I have told him my answer. He hates it when I get quiet. It's hard, I have to just about leave the house, but once they see that you aren't going to take it anymore..the calm down. This is the hardest time I have ever had to go through and I don't even know if my teen will turn his life around, but I can no longer protect him or help him to destroy his life...sorry for rambling, but it feels good to get it all out to people who understand what I am going through. Stay tough and take care of yourself.
Get involved with the school principal, counselors, police, cps, whoever you can get to hear what you are saying. I have talked to everyone that I possibly could and now I am finding all kinds of people in the system that give me ideas and pointers as to how to deal with my troubled teen, he is still not turned around, but I am pushing towards something that is going to help him one way or another. It's hard and painful when your teen acts this way and I feel as though he is sucking the life right out of me, but I still have something left in me and I make sue that he knows that I will not stop until there is just nothing left.
Good news and some what bad. I hated to file out of control reports on my teen. Here lately I have done all I could to stay away from him and his tude. Kinda made it nice. Not to mention my boss kinda helped out by giving me hours until 7pm at night. So he kinda was getting nice in somewhat way. Until the past 3 days boom changed to back to his asshole self again. SOOOOOOOO He got his day in court before the all mighty judge! He plead guilty to "BEYOND CONTROL" judge yelled at him in his court room and said "I do not have respect for teens who does not respect their parents! And you seemed to just don't care so your sentence is..." we waited a moment. The D.A. for the juveys said something about some type of probation where he has to answer to a p.o. but he will be 18 in April. The D.A. suggested some kind of strick probation until August. That is after he is 18! I am loving it already! So the judge said to my teen "You will answer to the probation department and you will be assigned a probation officer. You will do everything that this probation officer says to do. You will never respect your parents, family no more. You will not do any acts of violence threats or arguments. You must take anger management classes and you must do all your school work and get a 3.0 before you graduate. If you do this in the next 7 months and you give your parents or parole officer no trouble what so ever then we will graduate you from here and let you go. But you screw up 1 time and come before me in my court room I WILL TRY YOU AS ADULT AND I WILL PROSCUTE YOU TO THE FULLEST OF THE LAW!" He told my troubled teen "Do you understand young man??" My teen was freaked out. He said yes I do. But then he got outside the courthouse and said I cannot belive you lied your ass off to get me what I did not deserve I hope you are happy you screwed my life up. I cannot go to the Army in June because of you! The D.A. told my teenager before we went into the court room "You have no respect for your parents, and you have no one to blame but yourself. You did this to yourself." My teenager told the D.A. "That well what about my brother and sister?" The D.A. said again "You brought this and did this on yourself, until you learn this and grasp the reality of this I will suggest that you can get 30 days in juvey jail, and up to 3 years probation. This means you will be 21 and have to go to college until then by law! She said but I am going to try to get you a break. But you screw up I will see the judge redoes your sentence this way. We are not going to be fair about it because you are unrespectfull and you seem to want to lie. (and he did to her she caught that 3 times in 15 mins). So meanwhile I wait to hear something from the probation office to see when they are going to get things going. I told my teenager I BIG FIGHT AND YOU WILL BE FLOPPED TO JUVEY JAIL I DO NOT HAVE TO PUT UP WITH YOU AND YOUR CRAP! We have not bought nothing, gave him nothing or did anything for him since he moved back home. But oh boy we are the worse parents because we do not give him what he demands.
My child is in the third grade and is giiving me (the teachers a hard time) not all the time but..Just wondered what your child was doing in school at that time? I have had my troubled kid tested and taken to therapy and they don't see anything physicaly or mentally wrong with him......
If there is one thing i have learnt it is that all we can do is take it one day at a time. They're have been so many times that i thought, right on my teen has finally shown some improvement. I think he really cares this time, something or someone has gotten through to him. Then bam, same old boy again getting into even more trouble than before. My teen actually just got home on Thursday from Juvenile det. and he had given him self a tattoo of his girlfriends name on his hand. Guess what, they are not together anymore. and just like you said, what about the dangers. I get so worried about him as he has no self worth it seems. He just treats himself like he is worth nothing at all and has no self esteem. I have put him in some anger management counseling and have made it a condition that he goes if he is to live under my roof. I have also had to quit my job (about a year ago) and my hubby is also working away for months at a time. I rely on my family and my bestfriend alot for support. It seeems thought that i have become a prisonour in my own home. I have started to look for part time work as I just can not sit around and hope things get better. I must start to live my life again. My troubled teen is 15. He knows right from wrong. I can not controle his actions even if i try.
hope your week was good it is hard for me everyday just thinking that anymoment they are goin to call from school to let me know he's in trouble again .he just started a new school last week so far is ok but i don't want to let my guard down .me and my husband have talked that i would just quit my job but he doesnt want me to he says we need the money my mother in law helps baby sit but i think that's not enoug my teen does'nt listen to her but he listens to grandfather well lets see how this week goes. take care
I am new here. This subject seems to be about the closest to my situation. I have a 16 year old teen. I have lived with all of the for- mentioned things you all have brought up in these discussions, plus some. I would love to believe that it was something I had done early in life, to create what I am dealing with now, but I know better. Thinking back through the years and who he was from the time he could talk, reminds me that I didn't make this happen. This is the only positive thing I can believe. My teen was angry, aggressive and down right hurtful from the moment he had the ability to do so. I spent many years trying to get help with him, only to be told, things would get better and we are not sure what to do. This came from many different people with many different degrees. All to no avail of help. Now years later my teen has been on probation 3 times, tried god only knows how many drugs, stolen, flunked most of 2 years of classes, physically and emotionaly abused myself and my 7 year old teen, became a "huffer" for awhile, now a cutter, ran away, attempted suicide twice, been in lock up, been hospitalized, oh and to top it off has become a father at the ripe age of 15. He has moved to his fathers for a short time, after 6 months the honey moon wore off and he wanted to come home, I let him stay there another year. Brought him home, which after 6 months wanted to leave again. Which he did, to an old family friends house. Now 6 months later he wants to come home. (pattern here?) Mind you things had gotten so violent that giving in to him leaving, was the best thing for me and my younger teen. Not that I wanted to, but I certainly wanted us to live another day. The question I pose to all of you is this. After 6 months of him living somewhere else, during which time all he contacted me for was money. Do I let him come home? He has stated the only reason he wants to be home is the people he is with, just fight with him and he thinks the house is to dirty for his new teen to be in, he is truly troubled. Do I give up the relationship with my boyfriend, the sence of security and saftey that my younger teen now has and the happiness that we now have in our home, ( a note here-my younger boy does not display any violence or displine issues unless his older brother is around), just because his 6 month honeymoon is over? I hate the tough love part of this, more then ever since there is now a one month old baby involved. My grand teen lives with the mother, but my teen wants me to fight for 50/50 placement for him. ( I do not believe that is wise) WIsconsin is where I live and emancipation is not an option here. The law does not help either. They just consider him a runaway and it's not illegal. Even the Probation Officer says, let him live where he wants to and when he wants to come home let him. So if any of you have any suggestions, I would love to hear it. A comment to the message posted before, living one day at a time, brought me to where I am now. It doesn't get easier and positive impression doesn't always work. You never know what will trigger teens to act the way they do. I know many of parents that the simplest thing such as getting a drivers licence sets it off. (6 months and the kid went from straight A's to ankle bracelet and now military boot camp) so ignoring it don't work either.
HELP!!! How do I deal with my 14 year old teen who REFUSES to go to school??? I certainly can't force him physically, and it's the parents who pay the legal penalty for truant teens. He's a good kid making bad choices, suffering from low self-esteem and depression and very troubled. He was seeing a counselor, and I think he felt comfortable opening up to her, but she left her position about a month ago. Frustrated, I became convinced that Stefan would end up in Jevenile Detention, but his counselor said that would be the worst thing for him, as he is a sensitive kid, gentle and kind in nature. Anyway, what to do???
We have a 13 yr old girl who is getting way out of control.. We need some advice or help and quick... She was always this very independent and headstrong teen. She is very smart and showed to be in the head of her class until 5th grade then all hell broke loose. She started failing her classes. She plays everyone like a fiddle I tell you. All the teachers just love her say the only problem they see with her is she is lazy, but a good kid. Since then, she is now in the 8th grade acts like it is no big deal to bring home F's. We have talked to her and the principle and teachers and she has made promises to make her grades and turn in all assignments. Needless to say that is not happening. We have taken her computer away and she will go next door and get online at the neighbors house. We can tell her not to leave the house and she will walk out and say she is going whether we like it or not. She makes promises to get to do things with her friends. My husband is out of town on his job a lot and has been since she was 1 yr old so we know it isn't a change at home. I am a gm for a store and have somewhat of a set schedule. I know I give in too much too her and I have really tried to put my foot down and make her own up to her responsiblilites and she just takes advantage of us over and over again. She will call my poor troubled mother- in-law and tell on me and tell her to come and get her she can't live here with us anymore if we stick to telling her no. I feel like she is tattletaling on me and I am a grown woman. She is an only teen and I we are like night and day the two of us. I am the oldest of 4 teens and I really try not to put everything on her like I had and let her be a kid. But I can say she takes every advantage she can of us. I have considered counseling and she said she would tell them we spank her if I take her. I don't!! This scares me to death and I told her things like that could have her in a place a lot worse than home. We are considering taking her to a probation officer at the juvie home and letting him put the fear of God into her and hoping she will realize how easy her life really is. Then I am wanting to send her to boot camp... but, where?? We live in the Louisville, Ky area and I would go crazy thinking she being hurt or abused. She has been hitting us ALOT here lately. She hits for no reason. And she can turn her tears on like a soap opera star. I would not be suprised if we don't see her on a soap crying at the drop of a hat. I am at whits end.... Something has to give. I am affaid she is going to drive a wedge between my husband and I. I need help and fast... I would appreciate any suggestions or help...